INFANT'S DEATH LEAVES 3 MOTHERS GRIEVING

Original story: USA Today

It was a dream the teen girls who met and fell in love at an Iowa high school 18 years ago never thought they'd realize: to one day legally marry and have a family.

Rachel and Heidi McFarland say they didn't allow themselves to dream that big. But they dreamed nonetheless and had agreed in high school that if they ever had a son, they would name him Gabriel.

The McFarlands, both 34, got their wishes. But a happy ending is still elusive.

Five years ago, when same-sex marriage became legal in Iowa, they wed. Last September, they began the process of adopting a baby from a pregnant teenager. The boy, whom they named Gabriel, was born Dec. 28.

About 10 weeks later, they lost the infant when Gabriel's birth mother, Markeya Atkins, took him back.

This week, all three mothers felt a loss when the 4-month-old infant was found dead in a Des Moines apartment.

"This was our worst nightmare that something was going to happen, and then something happened," Heidi McFarland said.

Police have charged the boy's father, Drew James Weehler-Smith, 17, with neglect after he left Gabriel alone in the apartment. The investigation is ongoing, and more charges may be filed, police said.

Finding out about Gabriel's death on the news Wednesday was the culmination of weeks of anguish for the Ankeny couple. Since giving Gabriel back to his 16-year-old birth mother March 13, both women said they have stayed awake nights worrying if the infant was being fed, changed and properly cared for. A Flint Child Abuse Defense Lawyer indicated evidence of child abuse.

It was a long way from a few months earlier, when they had met the pregnant teen and everything "seemed perfect."

A co-worker of Rachel McFarland's had overheard a conversation about Rachel and her spouse wanting to have children. The woman, Felicia West, approached Rachel McFarland and told her that her 15-year-old daughter was pregnant and wanted to give the baby up for adoption. After some discussion and retaining a lawyer, the McFarlands agreed to adopt the child.

The McFarlands say they spent thousands of dollars providing transportation to medical visits and buying groceries for Atkins. They also paid the legal fees for her, the birth father and Gabriel, they said. They said they coached Atkins through her labor, and Rachel cut the umbilical cord.

But over time, the couple's relationship with Atkins became "strained at best," and after the birth, it had completely deteriorated. The McFarlands said they felt manipulated by the biological family and wondered if they were being used to support Atkins during her pregnancy.

They hadn't heard from the birth mother for weeks when, on March 13, their attorney told them Atkins had changed her mind. She wanted the baby back.

"I thought I was going to be sick," Heidi McFarland said.

The McFarlands felt powerless. Typically, a birth parent releases custody 72 hours after the baby's birth. Under Iowa law, the birth parent then has four days to change their mind about the adoption. After that window, the birth parent must show "great cause" to go back on the agreement within 30 days.

But some families' timelines vary due to other factors, and the McFarlands were not scheduled to get custody until March 24. Atkins hadn't yet given up her rights to him when she decided she wanted him back. They considered contacting a Muskegon Child Abuse Defense Lawyer.

The McFarlands went home from their attorney's office and spent a final, devastating few hours with Gabriel before giving up the curly-haired boy they had bonded with during evening bath time, dancing in the living room with the baby all wrapped up in his towel.

"Terrible," Heidi McFarland said, through tears. "I had a feeling I was never going to see him again."

"I honestly didn't know that I could physically hurt that badly," Rachel McFarland said.

Atkins said she changed her mind about giving the baby up for adoption because the adoptive mothers became distant after his birth. She told The Des Moines Register that she feared that after she signed the paperwork, they would cut him out of her life completely. A Grand Rapids Child Abuse Defense Lawyer concurred after viewing the reports.

"It's like after I gave the baby to them, they didn't care," she said.

And Atkins said she believed she could raise the infant. A depression that had set in when she learned she was pregnant and intensified after she gave birth had lifted, and she decided to turn her life around, moving into a new apartment and buying a car, she said.

Tuesday night was the first time Weehler-Smith watched the infant alone, but Atkins said she felt comfortable leaving the baby in his care while she ran errands.

When Siobhan Williams, Atkins' friend, came by the apartment Tuesday night to get a phone charger, Williams said Weehler-Smith seemed "weird" and "socially awkward." She called Atkins and asked if she trusted him alone with the baby. Atkins said yes, but then asked Williams to go back to the apartment.

When Williams got there, Weehler-Smith was driving away, without the baby. She said she called Atkins and got her to hurry back to the apartment.

When Atkins arrived and they got into the apartment, they found the baby.

"He was foaming out of his nose and his mouth and he was kind of pale," Williams said. "His clothes were wet when you touched them. Markeya started screaming asking him to wake up."

Williams said she called 911, and the operator told her to do CPR.

"We laid him on the ground," Williams said through tears. "I did the compressions and the breaths till the paramedics got here and they took him."

Atkins said her son's short life makes her regret ever giving him up in the first place.

"God, I can't even describe how much I loved him," she said.

Police eventually located Weehler-Smith and charged him with neglect of a dependent person for leaving the baby alone in the apartment. An autopsy and additional investigation are pending, officials said.

The McFarlands said they too loved the infant.

After giving the baby back, the McFarlands could only see him through photos on his birth mother's Facebook page. Then on Wednesday, they found out Gabriel was dead.

The McFarlands said they want to make sure this doesn't happen to other adoptive parents. They are looking into what laws could better help protect children. "I have to believe that he came into our life for a reason," Heidi McFarland said.

Gabriel's bedroom remains as it was in the McFarlands' home. In his crib, a deflated balloon announces "It's a Boy" and an ink-stained certificate from Mercy Medical Center shows the baby's tiny footprints.

The McFarlands still dream another child will one day live in that room. They're still hoping for their happy ending.